20 years ago today was 9/11. I remember where I was that day, what I was doing, and what I was thinking…It is perhaps not quite what you think. I have changed a lot in that 20 years and I talk a little bit about it.
20 years ago today was 9/11. I remember where I was that day, what I was doing, and what I was thinking…It is perhaps not quite what you think. I have changed a lot in that 20 years and I talk a little bit about it.
Episode notes:
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Mischa Z : 00:02 September 11th, 2021, 20 years ago was September 11th, 2001. I was 33 years old. I was living in Berkeley, California. I had, was married to Dawn, the lovely Dawn who was literally the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life. I swear to you when I met her, I was dumbstruck and, uh, we had a good run married for 12 years together for 14 or married 11 together, 13, something like that. Anyhow, we had our first baby Cooper who was six, seven months old, perhaps. Yes, right in there. I was sort of on the, not sort of, I was on the front end of my sales career. So I was five years into my sales career, maybe six years, something like that. 3, 4, 5, 6, 5 or six years into my sales career. I was aggressive and I worked a lot of hours and I was trying hard. Telemarketing ,cold calling, going door to door, walking into, into offices, asking for the C T O the chief technology officer.
Mischa Z : 01:48 I was selling tech. I was selling data lines, data co-location, um, all this sort of stuff, infrastructure, the data lines and the warehouse infrastructure for all the tech, all the dot-coms and I was full A type mode. And I remember that day, very poignantly. And perhaps for not the reason that you think, perhaps not the reason that you think. And that is really what I want to discuss on this episode is what I'm going to discuss on this episode. So I had had a wife, brand new baby. I believe I had finally purchased my first car with a loan.
Mischa Z : 02:52 How funny is that? Up until that point, I had been paying cash for my cars. And it was all about work. What did I have to do to succeed? So I'm sitting there that morning and, um, perhaps I was getting ready to go into the office or, or maybe I was working from home initially, but, there it was on the news. One of the twin towers had been hit by an airplane and I'm watching it. And I'm thinking about work and I'm thinking about work. And, and then as it goes on the tower collapses, the second building had been hit and the tower collapses. And I'm almost hesitant to admit it, but this was my thought, are they going to close the office today? Am I going to get to work today? I've got deals to work on. I've got prospects to talk to, I've got cold calls to make. Let me add it, let me at work. And I was really, really concerned.
Mischa Z : 04:21 Are they, are they going to close the office? I remember talking to my boss and perhaps I had been talking to other coworkers. I think I was, but definitely the boss. And I was like, come on, we got to keep the office open. Like I got work to do. I got sales to make. I had very little compassion. And definitely self-centered, I believe you would call that at the time. Cause I was really worried about me and how it was going to affect me. And then I'll tell you another thing. That's very interesting. I suppose it was a couple of years before that perhaps when lady Di had passed away, she died in that, in that car crash and the tunnel or whatever. And it had Don and I probably were not married yet, but definitely living together. And she was very upset as many women were back at that point because, you know, she represented a lot of things for a lot of women.
Mischa Z : 05:36 Lady Di did and I was, I had no compassion, no empathy, no what's the other word. Uh, sympathy, sympathy, empathy. One of those two words is appropriate. Um, perhaps both are. But I remember just telling her to mock up, you know, effectively, I might not have said buck up, but I would probably was like, why are you so effective? It's just, you know, it's just a blah, blah, blah or whatever. Just, you know, completely unaffected, completely showing no sympathy, no compassion, no empathy, and very closed off from my old feelings and my own feelings. And, uh, I actually apologized to Dawn for that years later. And I, when I did, I don't think she'd remembered, but I remembered, I was like, man, I was asshole. It's like, or I remember I was at a, at a meeting one time and someone was upset that they, their cat had died. I was like, I grew up in Wyoming, barn cats died all the time, blah, blah, blah. Again, no compassion, no empathy, no sympathy. And, and um, and that was the case on the morning of 9/11. And I was actually fairly, fairly upset that I wasn't going to get to work that day. And then I was concerned about how long as the office going to be closed.
Mischa Z : 07:17 And, uh, I was telling the story to somebody today actually. And they said, oh yes. The... So fast forward to today, I am a different person. Like I just ha I can have compassion, empathy, sympathy. I can hold space for people. I can...just, it doesn't like, I think back in the day, right, when Dawn was upset that princess Diana passed away, I could not handle that. Upsettedness. And so I would have to pull up this book, this wall, or this arrogance or this edge. And yeah, I'm a different guy today. Like someone loses a pet that sucks, you know, or a parent dying or step-parents, or God forbid a, you know, a brother or sister or a child or, or just all this stuff. It's like the littler things that I can have sympathy for.
Mischa Z : 08:27 And then also I don't need to shut down my emotions or run and hide when big things go down. So what did my friends say today? He said by rugged individualism stopped working for me. It was a great way to say it. My rugged individualism stopped working for me. Honestly, today, all politics aside, like I hope you can appreciate that. I don't really care about the politics of the matter. And, uh, I, I'm very grateful that I can see things from a more nurturing, compassionate, as I've said, um, empathetic sympathetic standpoint, and I can cry with people. I can cry by myself. I can, I can not have to put up a front of rugged individualism. Of this strongness, or it doesn't bother me. Or if things don't bother me, it's not out of arrogance. There was arrogance around all that before. Arrogance and selfishness. And that arrogance and selfishness has absolutely tempered in me. That's what I've got to say. Um, I believe life is amazing. I'm stoked to be alive, gifted with the spark of life with spirit. Everybody have a great day. This September 11th. I hope you have grown personally yourselves since that day. Peace out.
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