Table Rush Talk Show!

Interview #40 Donnie Dee CEO San Diego Rescue Mission speaks service..

Episode Summary

Ex NFL Player and CEO San Diego Rescue Mission Donnie Dee discusses service as a tool for a good life on the Tools For A Good Life Summit. Truly inspirational Donnie Dee is literally saving lives. Helping get homeless people off of the streets and back into a good life. Careful if you listen…you will want to volunteer.

Episode Notes

Ex NFL Player and CEO San Diego Rescue Mission Donnie Dee discusses service as a tool for a good life on the Tools For A Good Life Summit.  Truly inspirational Donnie Dee is literally saving lives.  Helping get homeless people off of the streets and back into a good life.  Careful if you listen…you will want to volunteer. 

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Transcript: 0:00:07.1 Mischa Z: Welcome back everybody to the Tools For A Good Life Summit and right now, I would like to introduce to you, Donnie Dee, President and CEO of the San Diego Rescue Mission. Welcome, Donnie.

0:00:23.1 Donnie Dee: Well, welcome to you. Thanks for having me.

0:00:25.4 Mischa Z: Indeed, indeed. And then before we get started here, I'm gonna read your bio really quick, if that's okay.

0:00:30.7 Donnie Dee: Absolutely.

0:00:31.6 Mischa Z: Alright, fantastic. Donnie Dee joined the San Diego Rescue Mission as President/CEO, mid-July, 2017. Anniversary is coming up or you just hit it?

0:00:43.3 Donnie Dee: This week, yeah. Today, as a matter of fact.

0:00:46.1 Mischa Z: Oh, wow.

0:00:46.6 Donnie Dee: Yeah, four years ago today.

0:00:48.5 Mischa Z: Oh, fantastic. Growing up in Kansas City, sports have always been important to Dee. He played football and basketball for Oak Park High School and was a four-year letterman in football at the University of Tulsa, graduating from there in 1988 with a business management degree. He was then drafted by the Indianapolis Colts and played in the NFL for two and a half years for the Colts and Seahawks. And then quick, was that an injury or you just... Go ahead.

0:01:22.5 Donnie Dee: I did finish with an injury. I actually played for another team but just never really felt right, and so, yeah, I would say it was an injury that ended my career.

0:01:32.4 Mischa Z: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And was that a heavy moment?

0:01:37.5 Donnie Dee: It was. You dream your whole life about playing a sport like that, and so for it to come down and you did not have a lot of control over how it ends is a little disappointing and a heavy thing to process. You play football your whole life and then for some of us, it just comes to an abrupt ending. It takes a little while to get used to.

0:01:56.2 Mischa Z: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm guessing, and we can get into this in a minute, but your faith was not only tested but enriched and really helped you through that time?

0:02:06.9 Donnie Dee: 100%. I think you find out what's most important and what you really value. And look, at the end of the day, football's a game, it can't be the most important thing in your life, and it's a game and it's why they call it a game. And so I think I was able to make the transition.

0:02:23.4 Mischa Z: Yeah, what a great lesson too and I think what a great thing or analogy, or whatever that... For me, I just hear that and I'm like, "Yeah, how much stuff do I put attachment on where it's just money or it's just this or just that when really... " I think is the lesson there.

0:02:42.8 Donnie Dee: Well, yeah, and it's easy to do because what our priorities are end up being the things that we chase and we center our whole life around, but what happens if we have the wrong priorities? Well, then we have established a life that isn't very deep, doesn't have a lot of substance, and those things always... You end up finding that out as time goes on that, "Hey, maybe this isn't as big a deal I thought it was." And that was really my relation with football. I went to University of Tulsa and football was the most important thing in my life. And then I got hurt in college and realized that, "Look, this can give you a lot of opportunities but it can't be the most important thing in your life 'cause it's gonna let you down eventually."

0:03:26.0 Mischa Z: Yeah, and I'm thinking too, I bet from that part of the country you grew up in and just... That was probably your destiny to a certain extent. That's the lifestyle...

0:03:38.8 Donnie Dee: Well, yeah, I think sports is a really big deal in the Midwest. Football is an enormous thing in Oklahoma. But even for me personally, my father was a professional basketball player for the Indiana Pacers and he won an actual gold medal, which I think is one of the most difficult accomplishments in all of sports, is winning a gold medal in the 1968 Olympics playing basketball. And so, yeah, I would say it was very much my destiny. I wanted to be an athlete, I wanted to accomplish what my dad had accomplished, I wanted to make him proud. I never imagined not being an athlete and I put that pressure on myself.

0:04:14.6 Mischa Z: Yeah, I will say too, for anybody younger, back in the day... So when your father went to play basketball in the Olympics, that was amateurs. There was no Michael Jordan, no LeBron James showing up, that was strictly amateur class.

0:04:32.6 Donnie Dee: These are all college guys playing against other countries and they were the best in the world, they were the best in the world. It has changed and now we've got pros playing against pros in the Olympics.

0:04:42.9 Mischa Z: Yeah, I think that's cool. I think I'm even more excited now to have you on the summit because I think, to have your identity in sports that much or as a pro football player and to have those cracks start to happen in college and then perhaps ultimately in the NFL, that it's such a powerful testament to what we're offering. How do we make it through those rough parts of life when our identity is shattered a little bit? So anyway, yeah, let me finish up here and thank you for indulging those questions. So here we are. Dee began his career in 1990 with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes in Colorado. Dee went on to become COO or Chief Operating Officer of the FCA for five years before relaunching the Tom Landry Associates, a major donor program at FCA. Again, the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. Dee is married to his college sweetheart, Jackie, who was also a college athlete. They have two grown children, Johnny, who's now 28 and about to get married, right?

0:06:00.7 Donnie Dee: That's correct.

0:06:01.7 Mischa Z: Yeah, very exciting, congratulations. And Jennifer, 25, who both played college basketball at USD and UCI, respectively. If I'd quickly touched on a... And again, for any of the younger people, Tom Landry, he was the coach... He was the man in football for a few decades, perhaps.

0:06:23.0 Donnie Dee: Very successful coach, went to the playoffs 23 years in a row, still has, I think, that record, and Bill Belichick's about to break it or maybe he was about to break it before last year because I don't think he went to the... I don't think the Patriots went to the playoffs last year, but Tom Landry is a very successful coach. He wasn't our founder but he got involved very early on with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and really put us on the map. I think once he got involved and used FCA as his platform to share his thing, I think our ministry really exploded when I was with FCA, and I'm certainly thankful for his life and his leadership.

0:07:01.0 Mischa Z: Yeah, and you had a chance to interact a little bit with Tom Landry?

0:07:05.3 Donnie Dee: I did. We had an annual giving campaign that people would give $10,000 or more in a year in honor of Tom Landry and that was used for local field ministry to work with coaches and athletes at the local level.

0:07:22.2 Mischa Z: I wanted to touch really quick before we get to the question and the meat of the summit question, to you, is that... Clearly, it's evident to me through your history and what you do that your faith is very important to you and it's been a very powerful part of your life, yeah?

0:07:42.1 Donnie Dee: Yeah, it is and it has been, and I think it always will be. I didn't grow up in a Christian home, didn't grow up in the church, and so really just trying to figure out life by myself. I'm from a broken home, my father was an alcoholic, and so I think that, in many ways, I was gonna follow in his footsteps, not only athletically but also socially. I think I was destined to just be an alcoholic and to probably bounce around from relationship to relationship. And it wasn't until I got to college that I saw some other athletes that lived out their faith and that became inspirational for me and interesting to me that I asked questions. I think, in the end, I just began to embrace my faith and allow God to have a role in my life, and to have this daily relationship where I get a chance to strengthen my faith and try to be all that God has called me to be.

0:08:39.4 Mischa Z: It's beautiful. So your interest and that nurturing in your college years, that's what led you to, obviously, your work in things like the San Diego Rescue Mission, yes?

0:08:55.8 Donnie Dee: 100%. Yeah, I think faith and really beginning to understand the God of the Bible and really what the scripture teaches really compels you to wanna make a difference in the world and to wanna see other people not just as humans at different stages and different statuses in life but to begin to see them as God's creation and that whether you're homeless or whether you have billions that we're really all the same in terms of God's eyes and he calls upon us that have been given much to help those that maybe aren't as privileged or haven't been given as much, and I just think that's a great way to live your life. And I've seen so many that have gone before me that lived their lives that way and it really challenged me to embrace that.

0:09:38.9 Mischa Z: Yeah, fantastic. I think my relationship with source or a higher power, or God, as you say, has been more from a recovery lens, like a traditional 12-step, that was my entry point, but I'd love...

0:09:55.3 Donnie Dee: That's good.

0:09:56.1 Mischa Z: Yeah, yeah. I'm excited for your viewpoint. [laughter] And what I wanna touch on here too is service. So you are CEO and President of the San Diego Rescue Mission. So the San Diego Rescue Mission is feet on the street, helping people, yeah?

0:10:22.0 Donnie Dee: That's correct. Yeah, we have a large facility downtown. It's an old hospital. I have 366 beds, 60 of those beds are used for emergency shelter use overnight, women and children only, and they stay there one night at a time, two nights at a time. The other 300 beds are used for what I believe to be the number one solution for homelessness and that is rehabilitation. You understand that, you understand the power of a program, you understand the power of accountability and direction, and support 'cause you've obviously overcome some things in your own life. And we have people that come to us that, yes, circumstantially, they may be homeless but there's other things that are going on in their heart that have led them to this lifestyle of homelessness and we're trying to address what's going on in the heart so that they can overcome and really be free from this challenge of living on the streets. So they live with us for a year. We call them students. The first semester is wellness, the second semester is education, the third semester is job placement and housing. And we tell them on day one, "Give us a year, we'll get you off the streets permanently." And we do that through our rehabilitation program.

0:11:33.2 Mischa Z: It's beautiful. I love it. Well, good. I think we've laid the framework for service as a tool for a good life. So I have a question that I'm gonna ask you and I'm gonna lay the scenario and basically, if we think of life as a three-legged stool of relationships, finance, and...

0:11:57.9 Donnie Dee: Health.

0:12:00.0 Mischa Z: Health. Thank you. [chuckle]

0:12:00.3 Donnie Dee: Absolutely. I read the question.

0:12:01.9 Mischa Z: That's good. [laughter] I appreciate that, Donnie. Thank you. And then if we think of someone who was successful or is successful and two or three of the legs fall out from under them, so perhaps... So I'll speak for me. I went through divorce, another failed relationship after that, both my parents died in rapid succession, this was all 5 to 10 years ago, career upheaval. And up until that point, success had served me very well. And so pull myself up from my bootstraps, that mentality, that "Fix it. Work your way through it. Sort it out", that was no longer working. [laughter] I needed new tools. [laughter] And so by the grace of God, I got new tools. And so my question to you is, thinking of service to community as a tool, what are the exact next steps you would offer a person like me who is, perhaps, hitting that rough part of life? What are the exact next steps you would offer this person so they know they are headed in the new, right direction that they will have positive momentum towards getting their life back on track?

0:13:27.7 Donnie Dee: That's a big question, that's a heavy question, and I don't know that there's an easy answer to that. I can tell you what comes to mind for me and I can tell you what has worked for me. I think the exact next steps really have to do with how you view the world. I think everything starts internally first. I can't be for the world if I'm not first that in myself. I can't impart what I don't possess. And so I think I have to have a philosophy of life. I think I have to have a view of the world that is healthy so that I can begin to see people and see others the way that would allow me to have influence on them.

0:14:12.0 Donnie Dee: I think, for me, it starts with gratefulness. I think that so many of us, especially today, in this world feel like we need to play the role of the victim and I think we're losing sight of the amazing Americans that have overcome so much to make a life of themselves and they didn't play the victim. They played the, "I'm gonna get up every day, I'm gonna do the best I can, and I'm grateful for this opportunity." I think thankfulness and having a thankful heart really centers someone to really begin to see their circumstances and to see the world in a way that allows them to take advantage of their opportunities. I think that's the first step, is do you realize how much you have? It's like the guy that said that he was complaining having no shoes until he saw the guy who didn't have any feet. I think you don't have to look far, especially when you live in San Diego, to spend some time in Mexico and you see that it's a whole different world down there.

0:15:25.0 Mischa Z: A whole different world, yeah.

0:15:26.6 Donnie Dee: We have a lot to be thankful for and I think it starts with that.

0:15:32.7 Mischa Z: Let me ask you a question, do you have any sort of things that you do to bring that gratitude forefront in your day?

0:15:41.5 Donnie Dee: I do. I start each day in reading and in meditation, specifically reading the Bible and in praying out my faith and just trying to center myself around the opportunities I have for that day. It's easy for me to get out of the bed and to rush into the mission because of the volume of responsibilities that's down here. And we've got 300 people living with us and even during COVID. It's not like we kicked them out. They stayed with us, that's their home for a year. And so just the pressure and the volume of responsibility, and the stress, and the decisions that need to be made. I can't come down to this work everyday without something to give and I gotta have life to give if I'm gonna help somebody that's broken figure out how to take steps in their life. So I can encourage them to be grateful and to be thankful that they've got a place to live even though that in the world's eyes they're probably at the bottom of the...

0:16:49.7 Mischa Z: Pecking order.

0:16:50.0 Donnie Dee: Probably the bottom of the pecking order. There's a lot to be thankful for. They have a lot to be thankful for. They've got a bed, they've got a safe place, they've got meals. And I can't communicate that to them if I'm not coming from a position of gratefulness and thankfulness. And so, yeah, I think starting each day in just prayer and in reading, and centering myself around what I know to be true is one of the things I practice daily.

0:17:14.9 Mischa Z: Fantastic. And I heard you say meditation in there too. Real quick, how much time do you dedicate to that in your morning?

0:17:26.0 Donnie Dee: Thirty minutes or so. I read and pray and sometimes I'll listen to a good message but I really just try to carve out before I actually get up. I workout, then I sit out back and read and pray, and then I jump in the shower and grab my stuff, and I hit the road 39 miles south to the San Diego Rescue Mission. So that is in my routine six days a week.

0:17:51.8 Mischa Z: Fantastic, thank you. Alright, so number one, start with gratitude, and you gave some great ways to do that. What do we have next? What's after that?

0:18:01.6 Donnie Dee: Well, I think the next thing is to look for opportunities to serve. The world is full of need. There is so much suffering in the world and so many that are just challenged by their own circumstances, and you don't have to go far. You don't even have to do anything formally or structurally. You can just look around your neighborhood and see somebody that needs a helping hand, that needs a word of encouragement, that needs somebody to come alongside of them and just put their hand on their shoulder, and say, "It's gonna be okay." I think how we view the world and how we see the world really determines the opportunity, I believe, God gives us to serve the world. There's so many opportunities to serve. I had a friend that is no longer alive, he was a tennis pro at El Camino Country Club, and I would say my best friend ever.

0:18:51.8 Mischa Z: Who is your best friend ever?

0:18:53.1 Donnie Dee: He was my best friend. He passed away probably 10 years ago. I've got a picture of him up here in my bookshelf. He passed away about 10 years ago of a brain tumor and it really came on fast, and I just watched him go through all of that and really die in an honorable way. And he was just a tennis pro. He'd make a lot of money but then I saw him have an impact on a lot of people. I had a chance to officiate his memorial service. There's probably 500 people standing remotely in this little chapel. But I remember he used to tell his kids... And he's about 10 years older than me, so I kinda looked up to him a little bit. And I remember he told his kids who were a few years older than my kids that if you're having a bad day, go be a blessing to somebody. Go find somebody and be a blessing to them and not only will you make their day a much better day but it'll take your eyes off of what concerns you most. And I think that's a powerful principle that is easy to implement that can change your complete perspective and how you see your circumstances by, one, being grateful and by, two, looking for opportunity to be a blessing to somebody else, formally or informally.

0:20:10.3 Mischa Z: I love that a lot. Service, for me, has been so impactful in my life to get me out of my head and all those things that you said, and to find that gratitude in a lot of what I do. My current state in the world, I'm trying to let go of what being of service means. So I have my vision and it usually has lots of accolades. I want to be of service and then the shiny objects but I... So I wanna ask you... Easy to implement. So tell me, give me some easy to implement both, I think you said, official and unofficial.

0:20:58.8 Donnie Dee: Yeah, or formally or informally.

0:21:00.0 Mischa Z: There we go.

0:21:01.0 Donnie Dee: And I would say, formally, there's lots of organizations like the San Diego Rescue Mission. I had 240 volunteers down here last week that get what it means to serve the world, that get what it means to serve the community. They got things going on, they've got kids, little league games, and work, and church responsibilities, and yard work, and all kinds of stuff like the rest of us, but they come down every week, many of them, and they serve meals. They come down every week, many of them, and they help us run the mission; 240 volunteers that showed up last week. Now, some of them were regulars and then some of them came down for their once a month service project but I love that they're committed to this place. And I would say that's one of the ways to serve, is to be consistent, is to find a place that really hits your heart and a place that you wanna make a difference because there's lots of organizations like ours out there that need the help. We don't have enough staff to do all the things that we need to do around here and when volunteers come down and serve, not only does it help us raise our level of leadership but it helps those that we're serving because now we could do it at a much higher level.

0:22:18.1 Mischa Z: I love that. I like what you said, and I'm gonna frame it this way, take the time to find some place that inspires you to be consistent. So go to the San Diego Rescue Mission and if that grabs you, awesome, be consistent but if it doesn't, perhaps look again. Keep looking until you can find that thing that maybe resonates, yeah?

0:22:45.0 Donnie Dee: Yeah, and I think that we don't have to do everything, but what if all of us at this summit did something? And I'm sure that if you had the ability to find out all of the areas that people at this summit are involved in, we'd probably be impressed and probably be in awe, but there's probably somebody that this really speaks to them. You've been feeling like you need to get involved, you've been feeling like you need to do something, and I would say, find that thing and also, step back and evaluate your own story. What is it that you've been through? What is it that you've been challenged by, either as you grew up or even later in life? And typically, I have found that that ends up being something that you wanna give back too because you've been given so much. Like for you, I can only imagine what it's like for you to sit down with somebody who's struggling with an addiction and the power of that is, is that you know exactly what that's like, you know exactly what that means.

0:23:53.4 Donnie Dee: I remember I'm the oldest of four and my parents got divorced when I was in eighth grade, and I always resented it. I was like... I never really understood how difficult and challenging it is to be married till I got married. I'm just a kid and I resented it, and I always wondered why it had to happen, because it was hard on us. It was really hard on us. But it wasn't until I was 25 years old and I took a position in Colorado working with coaches and athletes, and I met a kid whose mom asked me, "Would you meet with him because me and his dad are going through a divorce and he's really struggling?" And I sat down with him at Taco Bell and that divorce that I went through as an eighth grader made sense to me because I could speak to him in a way that I think he listened to me more than he listened to anybody else because I could relate. And I think that's the challenge, is not only to be consistent at that thing that you feel compelled to do but to find something that really resonates with your heart because you've been impacted, you've changed, you've overcome. And I think that puts you in a position to really have an impact on other people that will trust you because you've been there.

0:25:08.3 Mischa Z: Yeah, that's good. That experience, bring that experience to the table and use that as a tool to serve. That's very powerful. How about informally? So we covered formally, tell me some informal.

0:25:25.3 Donnie Dee: I think that some of us are more relational than others, and so as I mentioned earlier, just having a world view where you see people as people, not as a hassle or as a distraction, or as a... We've got... I remember when I was a kid, if somebody rang the doorbell, it wasn't uncommon growing up in a neighborhood. We were bouncing around from house to house. Somebody rings my doorbell now, I'm half freaked out. [laughter] What do they want? Am I in trouble? Am I about to get robbed? Why are they ringing my doorbell? We live in a world of garage door openers where we pull our car in and we get out, and walk into the house and we don't connect with anybody, and I just don't think that's... I don't think that's best for society. We are human beings, we are meant to connect, and I think the absolute most fulfilling way to connect is to help others. And so as we began to see in our neighborhoods, as we begin to see in our workplace, as we begin to see at the gym, as we begin to see people at our kids practices, and as we begin to build relationships, I think you find that there's a whole world out there that's waiting to be touched and waiting to be blessed if we'll have the eyes to see that.

0:26:45.7 Mischa Z: Yeah, I loved that thought. This is what I hear, a lot of what I hear, is how powerful, when I walk out the door, a smile can be, a generous nod, an open, generous... And when I say generous, meaning... I don't mean literally having to give something to somebody but that... You know what I'm saying when I say generous?

0:27:11.9 Donnie Dee: We all know people that when you're around them, they're life-giving, they're so positive, they're so enthusiastic, they're so full of joy. That's actually contagious. And when I see that, not only do I benefit from that but it's also a challenge to me that I wanna be that kind of person. I wanna be that kind of person that when others are around me, it raises their level of influence and leadership capacity.

0:27:40.2 Mischa Z: Yeah, and the other thing I heard was, if I'm having... If I see somebody and I go negative and I get judgmental or whatever that could be, they shouldn't have crossed the street in front of me, or the gamut that can go through our brain is literally practiced to be like, "Wait a minute, can I shift how I view that person to a positive attitude or from a positive set of glasses?" or say it however you want.

0:28:09.9 Donnie Dee: Yeah, yeah, no, I think it goes back to that way we view the world and we are all pretty selfish and we all are the most very self-centered and self-focused, and self-aware, and if I can begin to see the world from a standpoint of, "Look, it's not about me"... I need to remind myself of that daily. That's almost something I should rehearse in my head over, "It's not about me. This is not about me. This is not about me, my needs, my wants, my desires. What if I begin to make the world about other people?" and I think that's legacy. You start talking about how to make the most of our lives. Well, service is certainly a way to do that and at the end of our lives, what you have in an auditorium, like my friend that I mentioned, is a bunch of people that you've impacted if we dare to see the world in another's focused view. If we see the world in a self-focused view, then at the end of our lives, probably not a whole lot of people are around to celebrate your legacy, right?

0:29:20.2 Mischa Z: Right, it's true.

0:29:21.3 Donnie Dee: We know that now, so why don't we do something about it? Why don't we do something different?

0:29:25.8 Mischa Z: Yeah, yeah. If we can dare... Say that again, if we can dare to see the world... How did you say that? If we...

0:29:33.2 Donnie Dee: Well, if we can dare to see the world others-focused instead of me-focused, then really I think build a legacy that has an impact on lots of people's lives.

0:29:45.7 Mischa Z: Yeah, that's great. So good. Donnie, I love it. I think that that's a great place to stop interview one. So if this interview with Donnie Dee was fantastic and you want to get even more content from Donnie, upgrade to the all access pass for that bonus interview. And I've got some good questions and I know we're gonna have some fun, and I'm gonna give you an opportunity to be vulnerable, so I think that's always really good. Any final thoughts to share that we did not get a chance to cover, Donnie?

0:30:29.0 Donnie Dee: No, just that I think we should all be mindful that life is short, and so each day's a gift. The Bible teaches that this is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. And I think that regardless of your faith orientation, I think we would all agree that life is short and goes by very quickly, and so what we do with these days really determines a successful life. If you want another tip, I think, in terms of how to have an effective life and to be well-rounded and to be well-balanced like that three-legged stool, then we gotta get up every day and make this day count by treating it as a gift.

0:31:09.7 Mischa Z: Yeah, that's good. That's good stuff, Donnie. Thank you so much. You can find out all about what Donnie does as President and CEO of the San Diego Rescue Mission by going to sdrescue.org. Again, sdrescue.org. There's opportunities to donate. I'm sure you would always love donations, donation-supported...

0:31:38.2 Donnie Dee: Yeah, we've got a lot of opportunities to serve, a lot of opportunities to give, a lot of opportunities to praise, so yeah, we'd love to have any of your listeners involved in any one of those plans.

0:31:48.6 Mischa Z: Alright, fantastic, Donnie. And again, everybody click on the all access pass button below so you can get unlimited access to all of our interviews with Donnie and all of the bonus interviews which Donnie and I are going to get into next. I'm gonna hit stop and thank you so much for round one, that was beautiful.

0:32:10.5 Donnie Dee: Thank you.