Dom the Hypnotist crushes at the Tools For A Good Summit! He will have you break through some of your limiting thoughts and patterns by the end. And he gives you actionable tools for a healthier mind.
Dom the Hypnotist crushes at the Tools For A Good Summit! He will have you break through some of your limiting thoughts and patterns by the end. And he gives you actionable tools for a healthier mind.
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Transcript: 0:00:06.2 Mischa Zvegintzov: Welcome back, everybody, to the Tools For A Good Life Summit. And right now I would like to introduce to you Dom... And I might butcher your last name, so bear with me, Bertoncini.
0:00:20.0 Dom Bertoncini: Yeah, you hit it right on the head, I'm surprised.
0:00:22.8 Mischa Z: Alright, fantastic. AKA, or also known as, Dom The Hypnotist. And I'm gonna tell the people a little about you real quick.
0:00:32.0 Dom the Hypnotist: Cool.
0:00:33.0 Mischa Z: Alright, so Dom, you, specialize... You're certified in hypnotherapy, timeline therapy, and neuro-linguistic programming. You specialize in helping people get rid of anxiety, depression, and limiting beliefs, so they can live the life that they want. You have worked with some of the top athletes in the NFL, UFC, and Olympic athletes from all over the world. And a fun fact about Dom, you get randomly referenced by UFC fighters on the Joe Rogan podcast.
0:01:11.8 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, awesome, thank you. I appreciate that intro. And sometimes people think that I only work with athletes, but I work with everyday people like myself. There's only so many athletes that you're gonna be able to work with, just because there's only... You think about the NFL, there's only a thousand people, and out of those a thousand people... I have a small group of people that I work with it. Same thing in the UFC, there's only 550 people on the roster. So sometimes people think, "Oh, does he only work with athletes?" or whatever. No, I work with everyday people, like I said, like myself, like yourself, so...
0:01:49.9 Mischa Z: Yeah. Perfect, thank you for that. I will tell you, as I've been putting together this summit and I was searching madly for a hypnotherapist...
0:02:00.0 Dom the Hypnotist: How did you... Did you go on Instagram and you went to the "hypnosis" tag or something?
0:02:04.9 Mischa Z: Yeah, exactly.
0:02:05.9 Dom the Hypnotist: Oh, there you go.
0:02:06.0 Mischa Z: Exactly. Yes, and yeah it was interesting, I'll tell you, you can find, obviously, a ton of people that way, and what I loved about you and what drew me to you is you seem like a down-to-earth real... Like, "Here's a real... " You present it in real-life terms, which I think is so powerful. Yeah, and then I'll tell you too, I was like... You invite a few people, and I'm like "Gosh I hope Dom says yes", 'cause I like your message, I think...
0:02:39.9 Dom the Hypnotist: I think I got an email from you and then I thought it was spam and so I just kind of ignored it, 'cause I get emails like that all the time...
0:02:46.1 Mischa Z: Yes.
0:02:46.1 Dom the Hypnotist: People asking "Dom do you wanna get your blue check mark? Do you wanna get this or that?" or whatever. So I just kind of ignored it, and then the second email, I don't know what caught my eye but I think it seemed like it wasn't spam, and I kind of read through it like, "Oh, this guy actually looked at my account, it wasn't just a blast email."
0:03:05.0 Mischa Z: Yes, yes. Yeah, cool. Tell me, just real quick, at two to three minutes, how did you get involved in hypnotherapy and NLP and all that sort of stuff?
0:03:14.0 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, so it was actually completely random. Ever since I was maybe 18-19 I've always been into NLP and Hypnotherapy and everything else, because for about 11 years, from 18-19 to about 31 I had done insurance sales. So in insurance sales, or any sales job, you're always constantly trying to improve your mindset, trying to get better and more effective at what you're doing, and so I had known about it for a very long time. But about...
0:03:45.0 Dom the Hypnotist: So I've been doing this a little bit over two years, it's been March 5th, 2019 is when I graduated my first course, but what happened was my mom, she's into personal development, she's pretty successful, she owns an insurance company or an insurance brokerage as well, through State Farm, and so she's always doing personal development, she's always going to seminars and courses and all this. And so she had went to an NLP course and she was telling me about it, and she goes, "Yeah, you learn how to do hypnosis", and this, that, and the other, "And yeah, and it only took two days to learn it." And I was like... I was kind of blown away, 'cause I thought that it was something that it would take months and months and months of training before you could get to hone in your skills, right?
0:04:32.0 Mischa Z: Yes.
0:04:32.1 Dom the Hypnotist: So that's why I never really got into, 'cause I was like "I don't have the time to go through all that." So she was telling me about it, I was like, "Wow, that sounds pretty interesting." So, I don't know, a couple of months go by and she ended up surprising me with it as a Christmas gift. So Christmas of 2018 she got me a three-day introductory course. So I was like, "Wow, this is kinda cool." Honestly, best Christmas present I've ever had, to this day. So I went to the course and I had literally zero expectation of doing this for a living.
0:05:05.0 Dom the Hypnotist: I was just going to get rid of my own problems I was dealing with and maybe learn like a cool trick or something, you know, "Make yourself sleep!"
0:05:12.5 Mischa Z: Yes.
0:05:13.8 Dom the Hypnotist: Like you see on YouTube, right? So I had, like I said, zero expectation that I was gonna do this. So I went to the course and I just fell in love with it. I was really good at it, I took to it pretty well. And after that three days I really felt a shift in myself, like I could literally feel just energy coming out of me, like I could put my hands and feel it. And I'd never felt that in my life, I always thought like the chakra stuff and all that BS, I was like "That's fake, that's not real", and then I actually felt it coming out of my chest, I was like "Oh my God... "
0:05:51.8 Mischa Z: What?
0:05:52.0 Dom the Hypnotist: What was I holding on to? Like... Jesus. So I thought, I was like, "Man, if I could help people feel like this and I can do this for a living, I would way rather do this than selling insurance." So I had made a goal initially to transition from doing insurance to doing a full-blown hypnotherapy business, and I figured it would take me about six months to build up a clientele and everything else.
0:06:19.0 Dom the Hypnotist: So when I got out of that course I literally had zero belief that I could charge for my services, so I had no real confidence. Because when you're in the course you're doing it with people that paid to be there, so it's a little bit easier, right? They're a little bit easier to do the process with, so I thought, "Well. Is this gonna work on people outside of the course?" right? So then I just started offering free 20-30-minute sessions through my Instagram for anybody who was interested. So within the first week I worked with 45-50 people.
0:06:55.6 Dom the Hypnotist: Just any free time I had, just back to back to back to back to back. And then the second week was the same thing, so within about two weeks I worked with over 100 people, and they were like... People were promoting it on their Instagram, their Facebook and everything else. So I got to the point where I was like, "Well hey, I have so many people that wanna do this that I have to charge for my services, and I have no time to do insurance", so I remember it was literally two weeks of the day, I woke up, I actually had a full schedule that day, and I called my assistant, I said, "Hey look, call these people and tell them I'm not gonna come to the meeting. I'm done selling insurance, this is it. I'm never selling another insurance policy for the rest of my life." And then two weeks in I stopped, and then now we're here.
0:07:44.0 Mischa Z: Wow, Dom, that is amazing. Thank you for that.
0:07:46.5 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, it was like completely random. I had no... Zero intention. But I'm so thankful and grateful for my mom for doing that, 'cause had she not, who knows? I'd probably still be selling insurance, hating my life, looking for something else that's more fulfilling, and I was one of the lucky ones I guess.
0:08:06.9 Mischa Z: Yeah. You know, what I love about that story too is, well, the serendipitous nature of it, obviously, is great, but clearly the tool itself in action. So...
0:08:17.2 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah. That's the main thing. Taking action?
0:08:20.6 Mischa Z: No, yeah, taking action and also the tool itself, like that tool, the gift, the serendipitous events of your mother giving you that for a gift, right?
0:08:32.5 Dom the Hypnotist: Right.
0:08:33.0 Mischa Z: And then you dove in and then you do it, and then to take the action that the tool inspired in you. Right?
0:08:43.2 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah totally. Yeah, I just became obsessed, man. I was just like... It was all I thought about. And I'm still obsessed, but you know that... It's like that new car smell or the new car you buy, for the first couple of weeks you're like, "Oh my God!" you know?
0:08:58.9 Mischa Z: Yes. And it was just so exciting. So, yeah I really... I always tell people there's the three best decisions I ever made in my life: Number one, having my daughter, number two, starting my hypnotherapy business, and number three moving to Las Vegas. So yeah, it's been great. It's been truly life-changing.
0:09:21.0 Mischa Z: That's amazing. I'm just taking note on that: Your daughter, starting your hypnotherapy business, and then moving to Las Vegas.
0:09:33.1 Dom the Hypnotist: It used to be, before that, it was "Man, the best decision I ever made in my life was getting out of California and moving to Las Vegas." [chuckle] But then when I had my daughter and then, you know, so it is...
0:09:42.1 Mischa Z: Yes, yes, kids are amazing, we're gonna save that for the bonus round. Yeah, I have two sons, 18 and 20, at the time of this, and they are just... It's an amazing, amazing experience. Big gifts too. Alright, so let's get to the meat of the matter. I'm gonna give you a scenario and then I'm gonna ask you a question. Okay?
0:10:07.9 Dom the Hypnotist: Let's do it.
0:10:08.7 Mischa Z: Alright, fantastic. So, given this scenario, think of life as a three-legged stool of relationships, finances and health. And now think of someone who was or is successful and has had two of those legs fall out from under them. So this could be a combination of divorce, career upheaval, financial stress, these kids that we're talking about, kids acting out and not going the direction we want them to. There could be physical health challenges for themselves or for a loved one, maybe a death in the family or continued failed relationships.
0:10:50.0 Mischa Z: And for me it was I went through a heavy divorce, both my parents died in rapid succession, within two weeks of each other, this was all going down. My career went... This was about 10 years ago, my career went into upheaval and financial distress, and up until that point my "pull myself up from my bootstraps" mentality, that "fix-it" mentality had worked, right? But then all of a sudden I needed new tools, and it was clear. Like working my way through it, like more success, more money, more toys, was not gonna solve the problem, so I needed new tools. So my question to you is, thinking of hypnotherapy as a tool, what are the exact next steps you would offer someone like me who's in that situation so that I know I'm headed in the new right direction, that I'll have positive momentum towards getting my life back on track?
0:11:57.5 Dom the Hypnotist: Good, so it's actually funny you say that, 'cause those are the three main areas that we help people with: Health, career relationships. And usually, for the most part, when people come to us, one of the areas is good but the other two are out of whack, everything's out of balance. So there's a couple of things. One is we have to figure out why this is happening, because we are all the creators of our reality, and once we understand that then we can take back the power and begin to change.
0:12:32.0 Dom the Hypnotist: One thing that you find, especially in relationship stuff, is people always wanna blame the other person for why their life is the way that they are, right? So I'll give you a prime example, one of my clients... So I know this isn't a hypnotherapy thing, but you have to understand this concept first before the hypnotherapy will work. Because if you don't understand this concept, I could do this, I could hypnotize you every single day for the rest your life and nothing will work. So you have to understand this concept of cause and effect.
0:13:04.1 Dom the Hypnotist: So, a client of mine, she was telling me about how her ex was so manipulative and "He's this and he's that", and blah, blah, blah, blah. Which we've all been there before. And I stopped her and I explained to her the concept of cause and effect, and you probably know what it is but for the people who don't know, I'm just gonna explain.
0:13:29.0 Mischa Z: When things happen in life we are either at cause, in other words, we take responsibility for everything that happens to us in our life. Whether it's this guy just crashed into me, rather than blaming that person, we take the responsibility, Okay, what did I do? Or What am I not doing? Or what's going on in my mind, that is creating this reality around me, what is causing this to happen? So, you're either gonna take responsibility or you're at the effect. And we're at the effect of something, it's always something outside of us. It's her, it's him. It's my boss. It's this guy, it's... It's whatever, right? So there's a problem when you're at the effect of something is you give up your power to that person or to that situation, because if it's like, Oh well, it's him doing it to me, essentially what you're saying is that that person controls you and control your life, and has the power over you. So what we have to do, no matter what it is, I don't care if you caught your wife cheating on you, if... Like I said, somebody crashed in your car, your boss fired you. I don't care how bad it is.
0:14:38.7 Dom the Hypnotist: You have to take responsibility and go, okay, it's not their fault, it's my fault, yes, they did that. But what am I doing or what am I not doing that's allowing this to happen? What am I doing or not doing that's allowing people to treat me this way, right? So going back to my client, I explained this concept, but I said, "Look, he's so manipulative and all this stuff," and I said, "Is it that he's a good manipulator, or are you allowing him to manipulate you?" And it was like a light bulb went off in her head and she was like," Well... " and I said, "Well, think about this for a second.
0:15:16.0 Dom the Hypnotist: Do you think your ex, boyfriend or fiance is a good manipulator? Let's say I took him and I put him with a high, high level manipulator," let's think about the general of an army is somebody whose job is to do manipulation, now, manipulation isn't always... Isn't always a bad thing? It's just... Manipulation is good or bad, right? Your heart manipulates body to perform better. So I said, "If we took him and we put him with this guy... Is he a good manipulator?" And she was like, "Yeah, yeah, I guess, you're right?" I said, "Yeah, so it's not that he's a good manipulator, you're allowing him to manipulate you, and once you realize that and you go, oh, okay. It's me that's doing it. So what am I doing or what am I not doing that's allowing him to treat me that way?" The same thing with bullies.
0:16:08.0 Mischa Z: Yes.
0:16:08.6 Dom the Hypnotist: People always wanna blame the bully, blame the bully, blame the bully and... Yes, I understand that, but when you take your focus off the other person. You go okay, what am I doing or not doing well? Okay, well, my body language is communicating certain things, my tonality is communicating certain things, the way that I walk, everything is communicating to this person that they can treat me this way. Now, once you realize that you go, Okay, what can I do to fix that? Well, I can do some speaking classes...
0:16:35.9 Mischa Z: Can I ask you a question?
0:16:37.3 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:16:38.9 Mischa Z: So would you suggest like anybody listening, and we said, Hey, for this step number one, figure out why this is happening, and we want you to understand that you're... The effect is not them it needs to be you... Would you suggest like... Yeah, would you suggest like writing an inventory for that or write down what's that...
0:17:07.5 Mischa Z: What do you mean? Which part? Write down, which part?
0:17:10.2 Dom the Hypnotist: For example, if your client, for example, they said, "I am being manipulated." So you would say, How could you help somebody, like somebody who's listening and they're going all right, I'm ready to take accountability...
0:17:27.5 Dom the Hypnotist: Right, right, right.
0:17:28.3 Mischa Z: Literally, how could you help them take accountability? Reframe that statement, write down what you think the problem is, my ex is a son of a bitch, why don't you reframe that or...
0:17:44.4 Dom the Hypnotist: I would reframe that as, "Sorry your ex is a son of a bitch, maybe you have low standards... " right? It's true. My boss is treating me this way, well, maybe you just don't have a backbone. So again, there's no real exercise that I do with people, but when I explain this concept, people get it, they go.
0:18:08.8 Mischa Z: Love it.
0:18:09.5 Dom the Hypnotist: Right, yeah. I can't sit here and complain about the bully and be, it's him, it's a bully about... No, it's not, it's you... Because again, if you spoke a certain way, if you had a certain belief system about yourself, if you pick martial arts or whatever, nobody's gonna mess with you, you don't even have to say it, people just know they pick up telepathically or unconsciously they know, don't mess with that guy, right don't treat this person that way. So that's the first thing, because again if people are always blaming others and they don't take responsibility they're powerless. The other thing that's important going back to these different areas. So we all have what are called limiting beliefs and limiting decisions, so limiting belief is just a belief that we have that limits us being able to create a certain reality for ourselves. So I'll give you an example of limiting beliefs that I used to have... I used to have the belief that every time something is going good, that something bad is gonna happen, right? And a lot of people have this belief.
0:19:25.5 Mischa Z: Waiting for the other shoe to drop.
0:19:27.8 Dom the Hypnotist: Like, Oh, shoot, man it's getting too good. What's gonna happen? It's going to... Around the corner. Well, here's the thing, if you have that belief that therefore becomes your reality. So we will unconsciously for the most part, which means we're not aware of it, match our outside reality to match that belief. So once we get to that point, we'll self-sabotage, we'll do all these things so that we basically confirm that it's true. So when I real, I didn't even know I had that belief 'til I was 31 right, when I went through this process of... So once I realized I had it we go back, we find out what it is, So for me, what it was, you know my parents had been there like 15 and 17, they weren't, they didn't stay together, so you know, I would split time between my parents and so my mom when she was 18, she actually joined the military.
0:20:19.2 Mischa Z: Okay.
0:20:19.8 Dom the Hypnotist: And so by that time I was two, three years old, and when she joined the military, if you're not married, you can't live with your parent, right, so you somebody else has to watch you or whatever, if you're a single mother. I don't know if it's the same for single father... Yeah, maybe it's changed but this is 30 years ago, whatever.
0:20:36.2 Mischa Z: Yeah.
0:20:36.7 Dom the Hypnotist: So she ended up going off to boot camp, the whole thing, and I don't know, a year into it or whatever, she ended up meeting my stepdad and they got married. So when I was about three or four years old, when I was living with my family, splitting time between my grandparents and my dad's and all that, everything was going good, and then my mom got married, so then boom, I get shipped off and then I move across the country to Maryland right. Then we're in Maryland for a year or two. And you know, if you know anybody in the military, they move around all the time. So after about a year or two, once I'm settled in, I've got my new little friends in preschool and all that... Boom, Now we moved to Hawaii, and then we're in Hawaii for about four or five years. Everything's going good again. You know, I'm really doing excelling in sports, I have a bunch of friends, the whole thing, and then when I was about 10 years old, we had to move to Washington, and then we lived in Washington for two years. You get the point.
0:21:30.5 Mischa Z: Yeah.
0:21:30.5 Dom the Hypnotist: So, as subconsciously, as a survival mechanism, I developed a belief like, Hey, don't get too settled in, don't get too excited because everytime you do, something bad happens and you know, moving for a kid is a pretty traumatic experience.
0:21:46.7 Mischa Z: It is.
0:21:47.2 Dom the Hypnotist: You're the new kid at school. You always got a freaking like prove yourself, you gotta worry about people picking on you, the whole thing, so as a survival tool, my subconscious or unconscious mind created that belief system, so then throughout my entire life, because I had that belief, it manifested itself over and over again, right so when my relationships were really good, that would go bad or my friendships were really good, they would go bad, when I was working out and I was in great shape in the gym, everything, I would get an injury, when I was doing really well financially, I would somehow self-sabotage and put myself, you get it? So now, that I've gotten rid of that belief and I realize, Look, when things are going good, they continue to get better. And that's what happens, yeah, there's little blips and there's little days where you don't want, and things don't always go my way, but instead of it, my life being like this, it's more like this.
0:22:43.8 Mischa Z: Love that.
0:22:44.2 Dom the Hypnotist: You get little, little tiny bliss, but it's always consistently getting better.
0:22:48.7 Mischa Z: Love it, yes.
0:22:49.5 Dom the Hypnotist: So we gotta go through, limiting beliefs, and then the last thing is going through and figuring out something that's called getting rid of what we would call your negative motivation, or in other words your pain motivator, so when we're motivated in life, we are either motivated to avoid pain or we are motivated towards pleasure. Okay, so the thing with pain motivation is, it's very, very powerful right, we've all been there before, or you're super broke and you got two pennies are up together... You're pretty freaking motivated to get out of that situation, right because like, Oh my God, it's so painful, I gotta get out of it.
[chuckle]
0:23:31.8 Mischa Z: Necessity is the mother of invention.
0:23:33.6 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, exactly, it's like Okay, I have to do it.
0:23:36.5 Mischa Z: Yeah.
0:23:36.8 Dom the Hypnotist: Well when we're in that point, you know, here's the pain, here's being broke or out of shape, or I just had a heart attack, or I just had to break up or whatever, we feel that pain. Boom! The motivation kicks in. But then what happens as soon as we're not really feeling that pain point anymore, what happens to that motivation...
0:23:54.3 Mischa Z: Right it tapers off, or it's that whole.
0:23:56.9 Dom the Hypnotist: We procrastinate, we make excuses, we self-sabotage, we don't show up on time, we do it, and then all the way back down where you feel that pain again and then... Boom. The motivation kicks in. So pain, motivation causes very inconsistent results, so now, pleasure motivation, which is the opposite of that, instead of focusing on what you want to... On what you want to avoid, we focus on what you want to go towards the pleasure that you wanna experience, so for example, going back to finances rather than thinking yourself, Man, I don't wanna be broke, I don't wanna be stressed out about money, I don't wanna worry about money, I don't want to... Whatever. Now you're thinking, because, here's the thing, do people not wanna be broke, no, that's not what they actually want. What they want is to have financial success or abundance or freedom or whatever it is. So once we can hyper-focus on what it is you actually want, then that over time and patience, that's, that becomes our new reality, so now what happens is, it's a little bit easier said than done.
0:25:04.3 Dom the Hypnotist: We all know that, like or not everybody, but a lot of people know that. But what's happening that even though we know that, we keep going back to the pay motivators. Well, what happens... When we go through our life, you know our subconscious mind, its number one objective is protection, is survival, above everything else. So when we go through life and we experience, "negative events" and I put that in quotes because there's no such thing as a negative event, there's no such thing as a positive event, all events in life are neutral, the only thing that gives it a negative or positive is the perception of the person who's observing the event, so.
0:25:40.8 Mischa Z: Love that.
0:25:41.2 Dom the Hypnotist: When we "go through negative experiences" our subconscious mind will hold on to that experience because it thinks it's protecting us Right. So going to the finances, if you grew up broke, if your parents struggled with money, if you lived in a cockroach infested apartment, if you lived in a bad neighborhood, if... You know, when you're 18 years old, you got yourself into credit card debt, all these things that build up, build up, build up, will, when we're trying to focus on pulling ourselves out of that, we're like, okay, focus on the financial freedom, focus on abundance, focus on this, in the back of our head or sub-conscious is like yeah, but remember that one time? This happened, remember when you grew up. And this happened.
0:26:23.4 Dom the Hypnotist: What we have to do is we have to go back and we have to resolve all the "negative events" that we're holding on to subconsciously, and then once you resolve it and our subconscious goes, "Oh, that wasn't a negative event, it was actually a positive experience that's helping me in my life." Then you just clean all that stuff out, and now when you start to focus on your future abundance, creating success, everything else, then it's much, much easier because you've resolved all that stuff. Does that make sense?
0:26:51.1 Mischa Z: It does. It makes absolute sense.
0:26:53.2 Dom the Hypnotist: And the other thing is, we get what we focus on. So if we focus on what we don't want, that's exactly what we get. We've all heard, don't look at the color black, don't see the color black, don't notice it... And then black is everywhere, right? So maybe it's I don't wanna be broke, I don't wanna be stressed, I don't wanna be worried. Your reticular activating system going, "Alright, Dom wants to be broke, he wants to be stressed, he wants to be worried," and then we'll self-sabotage, so... And it's the same thing in relationships, it's the same thing with health. So that's what I would tell people if they are struggling in those lives, number one, take back responsibility, find out what your limiting beliefs are, get rid of them, and then get rid of that pain motivation, so you can make the things in your life happen at a rapid pace.
0:27:34.6 Mischa Z: That's beautiful, that's beautiful. When you're doing your work with a client and they roll in and they're open-minded, how... I guess then you would start implementing the hypnotherapy techniques that you use, what's the arc of change of... I'm not sure if I'm asking this right, but how soon could somebody feel better? And I'm not saying they have to have riches or a new relationship or be back in fighting shape, but perhaps they get that relief or that assurance that, yeah, I'm heading in the right direction.
0:28:20.9 Dom the Hypnotist: I tell people all the time, I'm a hypnotist, I'm not a magician. So I can only facilitate, I can't magically make you rich, I can't magically... You have to meet me halfway. So when I work with clients, I give them certain homework assignments, things to do, because it's a do-with process, it's not just, I'm gonna lay here and do all this and then magically in a month from now, I'm gonna win a million dollars in a lottery. Okay. Yeah, maybe that can happen, totally, but we're gonna be realistic. So to answer your question right away, so when people... Number one, many of us have beliefs that we're unconscious to, right? We're not aware of it. Like I told you, I had the belief that every time something's going good, something's going bad, or something bad is gonna happen. I didn't know that until I was 31. So when you become conscious of the limiting beliefs and things that you have that are going on, that in and of itself, just becoming aware of it, will start to release those limiting beliefs, right?
0:29:21.5 Dom the Hypnotist: So I have a client recently, we did our first session, and her whole thing was like, she made great money, but somehow she would always give it back, always give it back, always give it back. And what it was... And she wasn't aware of this when we brought it to her conscious what it was, is that throughout her life, her dad basically was always like her hero, right? He would always come and save the day ever since she was a kid, and then throughout high school her car would break down, dad's there to fix it. This happened and dad's got the money. So unconsciously, she was doing that, basically self-sabotaging her life so that her dad can come and save her, because she wanted to fill that from her dad, and then she knows that her dad wants to feel that... Wants to be that hero.
0:30:11.8 Mischa Z: Yeah, he wants to be the hero.
0:30:13.2 Dom the Hypnotist: Exactly, and it was so funny when she was telling me that I'm getting... I don't know why I'm getting the chills talking about this, but it's just... It's just funny, I'm thinking about my daughter. But it's so funny because that's how dads are, that's kind of like what we do. And I was watching a movie a week before that, and in the movie, everything starts going bad with the family and the dad, the daughter was not really connecting with the dad, and she's like, "Yeah, whatever, dad." That kind of attitude. And then when the family got into a sticky situation, the dad was like, "I've been waiting for this moment in my entire life," and I was like, I know what you mean. Sometimes I wish somebody would do something so I can be the hero. So it's like, once she became aware of that, all of a sudden she's like, "Oh, I'm doing this little dance with my dad, and it's how we filled our relationship and it's not necessary." And then within that moment, now that she's aware of it, when she starts to do it again, she go, "No, no, no, this is not right. This is only enabling me to continue to self-sabotage, so I have to stop, set up boundaries," that's another thing, setting up boundaries between you and others and yourself. And so yeah, so right away, that was our...
0:31:24.6 Mischa Z: That's beautiful.
0:31:26.1 Dom the Hypnotist: Our second session is next week, but yeah, she literally... And she's like, "I can't believe what just came to mind. I never would have thought," and there were some other stuff in there as well. But yeah, one session right away.
0:31:39.5 Mischa Z: Beautiful, thank you so much for that. I have a question for you. You said homework assignments, why don't you go down your top three or four homework assignments that you have people do, if you'd be willing to do that. Yeah.
0:31:53.5 Dom the Hypnotist: Some homework assignments are gonna be specific to that person, so for example, her, she's unconsciously spending money, spending money, spending money, so we have to have her track her finances, what is she spending on a daily basis? If somebody is overweight, they're unconscious to how many calories they're consuming on a daily basis, so we have to get them to track their calories so they can be aware of it consciously, right? 'Cause if you don't know how many calories you're eating, you're at 3000-4000 for the day, you have no clue. But when you track it and you're at 2000, you go, "Oh, shoot, do I really wanna eat this extra, whatever?" And then you're probably gonna know it's not... And then it'll be... It'll go away. So a lot of it is tailored to specific people, but then there are certain things that I'll have everybody do. So one thing is making a list of everything that you don't want in your life. I don't wanna have anxiety. I don't wanna...
0:32:44.6 Dom the Hypnotist: I don't wanna feel depressed anymore, I don't want to be broke, I don't wanna be alone. I don't want whatever. Everything you can imagine that is in your mind that you don't want. Okay? So the purpose of writing that down is because... So there's the four stages of learning. The first stage of learning is what we call unconscious incompetence. So unconscious means we're not aware, and incompetence, we're doing something wrong. So most of the time, like I said, every time something's going good, something's going bad, I was unconscious incompetent. I had no idea that that was a belief that I had.
0:33:21.5 Mischa Z: Ignorant. We're just ignorant to it.
0:33:23.0 Dom the Hypnotist: 'Cause we're ignorant to it. So once you write it on paper and you sit there and you think, and you really put your mind into it, certain things will be like, "Okay, these are obvious." But then other things will pop up like, Oh, I wouldn't realize I was thinking about that. Okay, good.
0:33:37.7 Mischa Z: So good.
0:33:39.1 Dom the Hypnotist: Then what we do... So once you do that, you graduate to the second stage of learning, which is conscious competence... Sorry, conscious incompetence. So now you're still doing it wrong, but you're aware of what you're doing wrong, so you can at least identify it.
0:33:57.7 Mischa Z: I love it.
0:33:58.3 Dom the Hypnotist: So that's... When we write it down, we go, Okay, this is what I'm doing wrong. Then what I have them do is I'll take that piece of paper and I have them write down what it is that they actually want instead. Okay. And I remind them in a specific way. Now, the reason we're doing this going back to the pain, motivation, pleasure, is because again, somebody doesn't actually not want anxiety. What do they want? They wanna feel calm, they wanna feel at peace, they wanna feel confident, they wanna believe in themselves, they wanna... Whatever. So those are two different pictures in our mind. When you're thinking about, I don't want anxiety, when you think about I don't want anxiety, you feel anxious.
0:34:38.7 Dom the Hypnotist: But when you think about, Okay, I wanna feel confident and secure and calm or whatever, you get a completely different picture, and then thoughts create pictures in our mind, those pictures create feelings in our body and then we act based off those feelings. So if we're always thinking, I don't want anxiety, I don't want anxiety, I don't want anxiety, our pictures in our mind is anxiety, anxiety, anxiety. We feel anxious and we act anxious. But if it's calm, confident, whatever, it creates a different picture. So I have them flip it. So then by doing that, they graduate to the third stage of learning, which is conscious competence. So they're... Competence means they're doing it right, but they have to make a conscious effort. They have to... Oh wait, I'm having that negative thought, switch it to this.
0:35:24.8 Mischa Z: Love it.
0:35:25.7 Dom the Hypnotist: And then what will happen is through the process of doing the work that we do, releasing negative emotions, beliefs, all this other stuff, is they will graduate to the fourth stage of learning, which is unconscious competence, which means you're doing it correctly and you don't even know you're doing it correctly.
0:35:41.9 Dom the Hypnotist: We've all done this before. The first time you learn how to drive, you don't know what... You're using two feet, you're all jacked up, you don't even know you're doing it wrong. And then your dad goes, Hey, it's one foot dude. Take it off the gas. So then the next time you go to do it, you're like, Oh, wait a minute. And then you make that conscious effort like, "Wait, take my foot off. Okay. Press the gas, press the break." And then after doing it for a little while, we're freaking talking on the phone, typing in our GPS, driving on the freeway, doing all this crazy stuff, and we're just unconsciously competent. So that's the level that we get to, is having it to where their brain is just programmed to automatically visualize and to think about what it is they want, the pleasure motivation instead. Now, there's something really important, and this may help a lot of people because we've all done affirmations before or tried it or heard about it.
0:36:38.0 Dom the Hypnotist: But how many times do those affirmations come true. Not a lot. Okay. And there's a couple of reasons why. Number one is, most of the time, sometimes you'll hear like a 30-year guru who's been in the personal development space for a really long time, and they're very, very successful and they've done it, they have proof, track record, the whole thing. And they'll say, "Okay, you just have to write down: I am a millionaire every day." Until it comes true. The problem with that is that when we affirm things that aren't true, our subconscious mind will not take it on as a suggestion. So if I just sit here, watch... We'll do it together, Mischa. Close your eyes.
0:37:27.0 Mischa Z: Okay.
0:37:28.9 Dom the Hypnotist: Say what's... Well, let's say, I don't know, maybe you are worth this kind of money, I don't know. But let's say in your head, I'm worth $10 million.
0:37:38.8 Mischa Z: Okay.
0:37:39.5 Dom the Hypnotist: Okay. Now, what does that little voice in your head tell you?
0:37:43.5 Mischa Z: Yeah, right. [laughter]
0:37:44.1 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, right. Exactly. So imagine every day you're writing, you're affirming something that isn't true, isn't true, isn't true, isn't true, your subconscious is rejecting it. It's actually causing more harm than good, because here's what happens. Imagine you're in a relationship with somebody, and all they did was lie to you every day. Well, eventually you're gonna stop believing the things that they say and you're gonna have distrust. So our conscious mind is like the father, the mother, the parent, and our subconscious mind is like the child. Most of us don't realize that our subconscious is in the background, it's operating on its own. So if you're constantly lying to your child, your child is like, "Hey man, I don't believe anything you're saying." So when you create that distrust, it actually has the opposite effect. Now, what we wanna do, again, as a parent, we wanna build trust between our children so that our children will trust us and believe the things that we say. So when we affirm things, we have to affirm things that are actually true. So close your eyes again. Now, I don't know, I don't know, what's a financial goal that you have that you haven't achieved yet, that you want. Let's say a million dollars, 10 million, whatever.
0:38:57.3 Mischa Z: Yeah. Okay. Let's say, let's say liquid for $2 million.
0:39:01.5 Dom the Hypnotist: Perfect. So I want you to say, I am focused on being... Creating $2 million in liquid assets.
0:39:11.6 Mischa Z: I am focused on...
0:39:14.2 Dom the Hypnotist: Creating $2 million in liquid assets.
0:39:16.4 Mischa Z: Good. I am focused on creating $2 million in liquid assets.
0:39:20.7 Dom the Hypnotist: Perfect. Now, what does that little voice tell you and how does it feel now?
0:39:24.4 Mischa Z: Yeah, feels good. I'm like, "Heck, yeah. Let's get this done."
0:39:28.0 Dom the Hypnotist: Right. Yeah. You feel it, you...
0:39:29.9 Mischa Z: Yeah. Dude, literally, my house just got lighter. I'm like...
0:39:35.4 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, you're like... Because now it's true. You are focused on creating that and you don't have it now, and that's okay, but now your subconscious goes, "Okay, that's what we're focused on? We're focused on creating two million dollars?" I don't care if you have two dollars in your bank account or 200000. If you are at that whatever level that is true, so then once it's true, your subconscious will take it on as a suggestion. And once it takes on as a suggestion, it will allow you to start to manifest that into your reality. But again, going back to the guru, sometimes they're so far removed from where they were 30 years ago that they forget... Yeah, they did want this to come true, but they were more focused on the realistic steps to get there, right?
0:40:18.4 Mischa Z: Yeah, yeah.
0:40:19.9 Dom the Hypnotist: And that's another major thing with the homework, to answer your question, to circle back, so when I have them write that, I don't have them say I want this because they're in the feeling, in the space of wanting. We don't wanna necessarily want something because that doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna get it. But if I tell them I am focused on creating or becoming. Now it's more of, "Okay, I don't have that but I'm making it happen." I'm in the process of doing it as opposed to, I want this, right? It's a different frame of mind.
0:40:54.1 Mischa Z: Yeah.
0:40:54.4 Dom the Hypnotist: So let's say... So that's another thing and then the other thing is, if there is anything I can go back and tell my younger self, this would probably be it, is to create realistic goals that you can achieve, small, little achievable steps that you can build on because...
0:41:12.2 Mischa Z: Yeah.
0:41:14.0 Dom the Hypnotist: Again, you hear somebody say, "Oh, just think big and be worth 100 million or a billion." And then what would most of us do? We think about that and we go, "That'll never happen. That seems impossible. What if this happens? What if I get sued? What if this... What about if I have a problem with the police? How am I gonna get insured? And then we go, "Forget it. I don't wanna do it." Right? So it's kind of like this, Why can't you Mischa and when I say Mischa, I want you to build me a... I don't know, maybe you could do this but let's just assume you can't. I want you to build me a...
0:41:41.9 Mischa Z: We'll find out.
0:41:43.8 Dom the Hypnotist: Right?
0:41:47.7 Mischa Z: Okay.
0:41:48.3 Dom the Hypnotist: How overwhelmed would you be at the thought of building a house?
0:41:49.6 Mischa Z: Yeah, it would be fairly overwhelming, for sure.
0:41:51.9 Dom the Hypnotist: It'll be very overwhelming. And even if I said, "Look, Mischa it's a two million-dollar, 3 million-dollar house, you can have it free and clear, you just gotta figure out how to build it."
0:42:00.5 Mischa Z: Yeah.
0:42:01.3 Dom the Hypnotist: It would still be like, "Yeah, that sounds great but I don't know where to start." Right?
0:42:04.7 Mischa Z: Yeah. Yes. Ironically, I do have some experience and I could probably make it happen. But anyway, I get it. I get it, I'm sorry. No, I know.
0:42:18.1 Dom the Hypnotist: What's that?
0:42:19.8 Mischa Z: I said, "I don't know." I just... It was funny, I thought I would cope to that. But go on, yes.
0:42:25.8 Dom the Hypnotist: So, well what's the first thing you do before you build a house? You don't build the house. What do you do before that? Well, first you gotta find the piece of land that you're gonna build it on, right? And then you gotta get plans. You gotta do all that, but let's assume you have the plans all figured out. The first thing is I gotta go check this piece of land. I just gotta get the weeds and the trash and the grass, anything. I gotta get it cleaned out, right? That's the first step. Now, most people go, "Yeah, I could do that. That seems pretty easy. How hard can that be? I'm just cleaning it up." Right?
0:42:57.6 Mischa Z: Yeah.
0:42:58.4 Dom the Hypnotist: Okay, cool. Now we gotta figure out how to flatten it out and some people might think, "Oh my God, I don't know how would I do that?" Think about it. If you had a 10 x 10 foot piece of land like the size of a small room...
0:43:10.0 Mischa Z: Yeah.
0:43:10.5 Dom the Hypnotist: You could figure out how to make that thing level. So if you could figure that out, you just duplicate your efforts.
0:43:15.7 Mischa Z: Love it.
0:43:16.4 Dom the Hypnotist: And go through the whole process, right? And then...
0:43:17.4 Mischa Z: So good.
0:43:17.4 Dom the Hypnotist: Step by step by step, you'd get there.
0:43:21.2 Mischa Z: It's beautiful.
0:43:21.9 Dom the Hypnotist: But what most people do is they put 90% of their attention on the house and 10% or zero on the what's the next step.
0:43:32.5 Mischa Z: Yeah.
0:43:32.9 Dom the Hypnotist: But really what we wanna do is we wanna flip it. So 10%, 'cause you still wanna have an idea of where you're going and what...
0:43:40.8 Mischa Z: Yeah, the vision.
0:43:41.7 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, the you wanna have the vision so 10, 20% goes on the house, and the other 80, 90% is what's the next step. What's the next step?
0:43:49.3 Mischa Z: It's beautiful.
0:43:49.9 Dom the Hypnotist: What's the next step?
0:43:50.8 Mischa Z: It's beautiful.
0:43:53.5 Dom the Hypnotist: So most people, when they come to me, they just have unrealistic expectations. I wanna lose 60 pounds. When's the last time you lost five pounds?
[laughter]
0:44:00.1 Dom the Hypnotist: Okay, so let's get to five pounds. Okay, cool. Then they get excited like, "Yeah, I could lose five pounds in two weeks. Cool." Then they do that, Okay, listen to... And then through time and patience and breaking it down before you know it, they're 60 pounds lighter and they're in the best shape of their life, right? So same thing financially. Rather than the 2 million, it's like, "Okay, I gotta save up. How do I get to 10 thousand, 20 thousand, 30, 50, 100, right?
0:44:22.9 Mischa Z: Yeah. It's beautiful. Dom, so so so good. Thank you for the last nuggets there. I'm gonna cut us off here really quick, and I think you've just over-delivered in such a massive way, so thank you, and thank you for... That little visualization was so good.
0:44:44.9 Dom the Hypnotist: I am focused on creating today, yeah.
0:44:46.7 Mischa Z: Yeah, it's beautiful. And so, audience here everyone who's listening and partaking, if this interview with Dom was fantastic and you wanna get even more content from Dom, upgrade to the all X all access pass for that bonus interview. And any final thoughts that we did not get a chance to cover, Dom?
0:45:13.1 Dom the Hypnotist: I mean, if you're thinking about signing up for this program or doing any personal development, this is what I always tell people, "Look, if you're on the fence"... I don't know how much it is or whatever, but if you're on the fence about it, I always think, "Okay, what's the worse gonna happen? You're gonna sign up for this plan and then maybe you don't really get much out of it. But on the upside potential, if you even just get one little nugget out of whatever, the VIP training and program...
0:45:39.3 Mischa Z: Yeah.
0:45:40.8 Dom the Hypnotist: Now, I know even one nugget, maybe certain people buy with this, certain people don't, and there's gonna be that person or those people they go, "Oh yeah, I have that same stupid belief, oh my God." Or "I've been thinking about doing too big too soon, and I gotta bring it." So even just one nugget, was worth whatever the cost of the VIP training is. So if you're on the fence about it, just freaking do it and I know it will be worth it.
0:46:07.9 Mischa Z: I love that. Thank you so much for that Dom. And again, they can... Or not again, everybody can find you at domthehypnotist.com, and they can actually...
0:46:23.1 Dom the Hypnotist: Go to... It's better if you find me on Instagram or YouTube. Those are the two main platforms that I interface with people with.
0:46:28.1 Mischa Z: Okay.
0:46:30.3 Dom the Hypnotist: So yeah, if you wanna go on there and then... Are you talking about to do a consultation, is that...
0:46:33.5 Mischa Z: Yes, so I was just gonna say for a consultation, they can get a free consultation so go ahead and tell them where they can do that.
0:46:38.6 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, yeah. So if you go on to my YouTube or on my Instagram, and I don't know if you're gonna have a link, I can send you the link to schedule a consultation, but if any of this stuff kind of buy with you and you thought like, "Okay, yeah." There are certain things that I don't help people with 'cause I don't feel I'm the best person for it, and a lot of times I have to turn people... I turn more people away than I accept just because I can't help everybody with every problem, right? So I don't feel like if somebody has a drinking problem... And it's not that I don't wanna help them, it's just that I've never experienced that, and so I don't know what it's like, so I really can't connect on that level. I'm not confident in myself that I could help somebody quit drinking. So quit drinking, quit smoking, things like that, it's not really my thing. But again, the relationship stuff, the health stuff, the career stuff, if that is something, fill out the... Click the link I'll share it with you... Fill out the form. If it's something we feel like we can help you with, that we can honestly and truly help you improve on, then we'll schedule a consultation with someone from my team and they go through and see if we'd be a good fit.
0:47:42.2 Mischa Z: Perfect, perfect. Fantastic. And the link is next to this interview, so anybody watching, please click on the link. Get your free consultation, and then, where was I here? Yes, click the button on this page to get unlimited access to all of these interviews and the all X all access pass, so I'm gonna end right now and then we'll get started on our next session.
0:48:12.3 Dom the Hypnotist: Okay, cool.