Robert and I were having a conversation a few days before… He’d had some stressors in his life. Job change, dad passing, kid issues. Talking about life as A Type’ish dads and then things can go sideways. And I thought we need to record an episode. In part 3 Robert graciously tells us about the battle with his son and their ultimate redemption. And he gives you his top points that he wants you to know…
Robert and I were having a conversation a few days before… He’d had some stressors in his life. Job change, dad passing, kid issues. Talking about life as A Type’ish dads and then things can go sideways. And I thought we need to record an episode.
In part 3 Robert graciously tells us about the battle with his son and their ultimate redemption. And he gives you his top points that he wants you to know…
Episode notes:
Another cool thing you had fallen into. On the fly you had fallen into this guys group for support. “Shit that dads have to go through”. It is difficult as a man to have interpersonal relationships with other men and for them to be real. Most of those conversations tend to be topical… I.e. show no feelings or emotions, or you’re weak.
…it was a group of fathers that I originally met through cub scouts. Once per month. It started as networking. All brought some form of faith. we’ve been doing it for 10 years. We share our struggles. They were the first group of people that I shared my struggles with. It was very powerful. The support that came from them was incredible.
It is unique that I have this group… As parents as dads we all go through so much stuff in our life. And we tend not to share it. And then all of a sudden here’s this group. It’s like we all are suffering or our journeys have these similar elements that we can work with another…
I hadn’t shared for a year about all my losses… And then to have so much support coming in. Even knowing it was the right thing to do and the safest possible place to be vulnerable and I was still reluctant to do it.
Robert discovers religion late. He went through RCIA to become a catholic. I was taught to never pray for “things”. But pray to be shown the path. I’m going to pray for gods plan for you. I’m a big believer in the long version of the serenity prayer. Not only do we not know what the hell’s going on, we shouldn’t even fool ourselves that we know what the hell is going on. We should be grateful that god is guiding us. Just trust. Just trust. “My goal is to just be reasonably happy”. To be able to teach us that kids too.
His list that he wants you to know:
The courtesy wave! Is so powerful. The smiling. It’s so important.
I would be remiss if I didn’t ask you about you and your son’s experience with the wilderness therapy…
I’m here for you, I’m gonna listen, I’m not gonna yell anymore… I poured my guts out. His response “Are you done…” He couldn’t respond.
They were at a point that they didn’t know what to do… The Wilderness Experience strips them of everything except food clothing and shelter… He spent Thanksgiving and Christmas in the desert… (Sadness and love pours out at this point)… It was a gift from god. We needed to get him there we were worried for our safety and his safety. We had to hire a couple guys to come out and “Transport” him. And that’s… you know… you worry about that. He was literally rousted in the middle of the night. “Escort services” he called it.
That was the hardest decision as a parent as a father that I ever had to make… Divine events allowed him in. “Transport services”. How do you pray for that?
…All of the contributors that exist for that type of behavior didn’t exist in this particular place.
Email Robert at: robertjohnpeterson@gmail.com
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