I dive deep on the "self righteous agenda". And what does that mean. And examples of a self righteous agenda. A little prayer to help you work through it. And Perhaps I don't know what you need to go through to get to where you need to be.
I dive deep on the "self righteous agenda". And what does that mean. And examples of a self righteous agenda. A little prayer to help you work through it. And Perhaps I don't know what you need to go through to get to where you need to be.
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Transcript: Mischa Z: 00:01 Covert anger part 6. If you made it this far and listen to all five...yea! If not, and you've just listened to a few, or this is your first one, hopefully you will grab the nugget that can propel you forward to a less covertly, anger, anger life. And B hopefully you've gone and purchased the sure. MV88 mic. So you can record your amazing thoughts on both audio and video on your iPhone with the lightning connector. Um, and there's the Shure MV88+ plus that you can also get, which I also have, which allows for non lightning connectors. So nobody has an excuse. I should add the link for the MBA plus in the show notes.
Mischa Z: 00:56 So yes, I had covert and subversive anger issues that I was in denial about, and or that I justified. Turns out I was raising my voice. And yes, that can be construed as anger and not just Mischa being passionate about his idea. And perhaps the seething silent treatment is just as inappropriate. And that perhaps imposing my will in an intimidating way, uh, is perhaps an anger issue as well. And, uh, it can be very subtle. It can be very subtle. We can strip away more and more of those habits. I'll speak for me. I can, but then perhaps I still had some, it culminated in me with me, tired of making false promises to my son Waylon when he was nine years old. And, uh, and uh, I was tired of telling him that next time I won't yell at you to what would turn out to be to the point of tears the next time we do homework?
Mischa Z: 02:22 And I was like, yeah, this does not feel good anymore. Dad, learned, dad needs to learn how to bring love in every situation. If your child is not going to get his homework done, as you like anyway, perhaps why do we need to have the peak, um, trauma experience. Or tumultuous experience and then go to love and we play can't we just start with love, and perhaps the will get you to the outcome you want. And I would say that works with arguments with your spouse. Arguments, with a relative arguments, with a friend. Arguments, with the political figures that you can't even talk to. Arguments with people, places and things.
Mischa Z: 03:29 So anger is as a result of fear, anger manifests from fear. What was Mischa fearful of? I'm going to cut to the chase and just say Mischa was fearful of how he was going to look as a parent, A. That was one. If Waylon not doing good in school. I will be perceived as a poor parent. If Waylon doesn't have the proper hobbies, I will be perceived as a poor parent. I could go on and on down the list. We could move that on further to, you know. Selfishly Mischa being...selfish...Mischa has fear of feeling or seeing his son in an uncomfortable situation. What if Waylon, uh, hurts himself? Well, I don't want him to hurt himself. That can be a righteous agenda, a self-righteous agenda, but perhaps I just don't want to have to deal with the ramifications of my son hurting himself. So maybe I yell in a situation where I don't need to, or I'm over-protective. I hope that's a valid example. I think it can be, in some cases it can be. What are other examples you think I'd have them written down? Um, I don't want to be financially responsible for my kids longer than I need to.
Mischa Z: 05:26 How about another one? I don't think I had a lot of this, but perhaps some people do or perhaps it's more sneaky than I think. But what if I fail in life and have no reserves when I'm old and then neither do my kids. So they cannot be supportive of me, ironically, if I'm yelling at them all the time, excuse my language, but let's drive that point home. Perhaps they're not going to be around when I'm older anyway,
Speaker 2: 05:57 So it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, but there's plenty of stuff. Plenty of stuff where it's like, it's, Mischa worried about the perception of the world towards me. It's me worried about what am I going to have to do longer than I want to? Is they're going to be fiscal responsibilities longer than I want to? Am I going to have to take care of them longer than I want to? Is it going to affect my day? I can't go watch TV because Waylon is not getting his homework done and the timely manner that I want to. So I'm going to miss my favorite recorded show.
Speaker 2: 06:45 How ironic is that? Most stuff is streamable. Back then it wasn't quite as much, but it's just a funny thought. I'm sure DVR was available back then. And I probably had it, but you get the point, the demand for respect as well. That's just such a funny thing. So once I started digging deep into that, once I started meditating or contemplating those ideas, and once I started seeing the level of my selfishness under the guise of a righteous agenda. And what do I mean when I say righteous agenda? What I mean is supposedly I want the best for you. I want the best for you. And that's how I justify me being...Practicing my subversive and covert anger, or me being a prick or me being passionate about a subject or an idea. Oh my goodness. So all sorts of fun, fun tips and tricks I have learned to help me be a much more loving chill in the moment, like trusting in God, friend, parent, boyfriend, citizen of the world. Um, learned how to bring love in most situations.
Speaker 2: 08:35 Um, and here's, here's, here's one of my best things that came to me. And you gotta be willing to try it. And I encourage you to try it. Say this prayer God, and I know you've heard me say it before, but I'm gonna say it again. How can I best support your path for X person setting aside my own selfish wants and desires? God, how can I support your path for X setting aside my own selfish wants and desires? Because often times so often it's my own skewed, selfish, wants, and desires that that fuel an, uh, a, a situation like that. And I'm gonna leave you with this thought and one proof of concept. So, um, the thought is perhaps I don't know what somebody needs to go to go through to get to where they need to be. Perhaps I don't know what you need to go through to get to where you need to be.
Speaker 2: 09:56 Like the universe does, perhaps me in my infinite intelligence, God forbid, I don't know. That was the mailman accelerating by and this one day, my son Cooper, who fancied me when I was, when my A type self was more, was more, more, more prevalent. Um, he, he says to me, "dad, like, where does that side of you go?" And I was like, are you sure you want that side to come back? Like, isn't it aren't, isn't it a much more calm, soothing, nurturing, chill place to be, uh, with me these days. And he was like, yeah, yes it is. And then of course I've had so many people over the years recently. I cannot tell you how many, I would throw some names out there, but that are just like, wow, you are a different person in such a beautiful way. All right, peace out. Have yourselves a great day.