One time when I was being chewed out by a girlfriend and I had an out of body experience. And I realized all moments are outside of my control. So I need to learn how to find happiness here too. And my most recent root canal reminds me of this.
One time when I was being chewed out by a girlfriend and I had an out of body experience. And I realized all moments are outside of my control. So I need to learn how to find happiness here too. And my most recent root canal reminds me of this.
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Transcript: Mischa Z: 00:03 I just worked up the episode called we can have happiness in any moment. So by the time you listened to this episode, that episode will be published. We can have happiness in any moment (https://bitch-slap-the-accelerated-path-to-peace.simplecast.com/episodes/we-can-have-happiness-in-any-moment). And I think that's true, generally speaking. I think that's true. And I think that, um. What I was going to talk about on this episode, what I'm going to talk about on this episode is where that idea really coalesced. Or, or I saw it as, you know, what I need to figure out how to be happy in any moment. Because all moments are outside of my control. And so I'm going to talk about that when, when that came into my line of sight, and then I'm also going to talk about extreme circumstances and that, because that's inevitably where I go or where other people can go as well. But what about the most extreme circumstances?
Mischa Z: 01:23 So, um, about back in what, 2015, I suppose I was breaking up with this girl. And this was a girl that I really, really was in love with. And I didn't realize how much I was in love with her until the breakup was complete. Um, yeah, that's how I'd say that. And anyway, uh, about a month before, um, we officially broke up. And actually, I didn't know we were breaking up. But in hindsight it turns out we were breaking up. Um, this girl, she lived with me and, and like, God bless her soul man. And she lived with me and we decided that perhaps she should move out. And, and so, yes, she'll move out. She's got a month because she's got to find a place where she finds a place and then it's not ready. So effectively from the time we decided that she would move out to when she moved out was about a month.
Mischa Z: 02:37 And this is, uh, this is a little off of the topic, but I thought after she moved out, we would work on it and try and sort out our difficulties. And, uh, her thought was, yeah, as soon as I'm out, we're done. And so anyhow, as soon as she moved out, we were done, it turns out. And, um, my heart was a bit shattered, tattered call it what you will. Anyhow, uh, in between that month, between the time we decided to break up and she was moving out, um, she was very upset one day and one evening. And she was really, um, you know, coming at me fairly strong. And I say this with love. Uh, how many times have I come at people, very strongly raised my boys or just launched into the criticisms of somebody, you know, I've definitely done this myself. So she was doing this to me.
Mischa Z: 03:40 And that was my perception of, she might actually have a completely different story and that's okay. But in this moment, the way I'm feeling it is, you know, she's yelling at me, she's, she's going down my list of, of character defects. I can't even remember what they were, you know, but you do this, you do that. You're like this you're like that. I can't believe this. I can't believe that. And, and, uh, as I said, I really love this, this woman. And, and in that moment, this one time when she was un-corking on me, I remember it vividly, she was standing at the front of the bed and I was sitting in bed and, um, she was just common strong. And I remember in that moment as I, I, an out of body experience, I was like, you know what?
New Speaker: 04:41 I need to learn how to be okay in these moments too. I need to learn how to...can somebody find happiness in this moment too? That was the actual thought. I was like, gosh, these, these moments can come and go. Supposed good moments, bad moments. I realized, or I had the question came, can I find happiness? And a moment like this? Can I appreciate a moment like this as well? And, um, it was a powerful, powerful thought. And I realized in that moment that, Hey, more than ever that, oh my gosh, like, I need to truly learn how to be happy under any circumstance. Because circumstances are outside of my control circumstances are going to come and go suppose a good circumstances, supposedly bad circumstances. And if my happiness is dependent outside of me... If I continue that... And I have, I had a good life at the time, I still have a good life now, generally speaking.
Mischa Z: 06:00 So I guess it was a very deep moment. Um, I don't know why I hedged my circumstances by saying that life was good or fine or whatever. Obviously it was an upheaval because it was breaking up with this girl it turns out. And, you know, my parents had passed away. I come out of a divorce a couple of years ago. Um, you know, yeah. And my career was in complete upheaval. Um, yeah, my career, I was floundering in my career. And in that moment, it's where I had that awareness. And so he was like April, 2015, March, 2015. Yes. March, 2015. And that's when the new taking that paradigm very seriously. That paradigm, that way of living of finding happiness, no matter what in the moment, um, popped up. I'm going to fast forward to the day because my brain goes to, oh, well, what about if you're being tortured?
Mischa Z: 07:20 Right. Like literally tortured in a pain moment. Or, gosh, there's so many things we could say where it's like, how is one going to be happy in that moment? And, and, and... So very recently I was at the dentist just depending on what anybody's listening to this. So in September, September of 2021 due to this is the whole dentist story. I have a whole dentist tangent I could go on, but I won't, but it turns out I needed. And I can't believe I'm going to tell the audiences, but I needed two root canals and I needed two, um, crowns. And I'm about to get the crowns I'm halfway done with the crowns. So I had to go to, um, the root canal person. And then I had to go to the crown, the crown dentists. So two different dentists, whatever you call them, teeth, surgeons or whatever.
Mischa Z: 08:31 But those moments are very intense and there can be pain. And they do a great job of using local anesthetic to numb the pain. However, in those moments, I, I meditate so much and I have been for a bit, you know, and I'm, I I'm, I... As I'm in the dentist chair and, and this a root canal is pretty serious circumstance, right? Like breathing and meditating and dropping in and getting into such a deep meditative moment in the dentist chair. It's pretty crazy. Like the it's almost. What I'd liken it to is a circumstance where it's like, Hey, can this be a relaxing, enjoying experience or relaxing, enjoyable experience? Idon't know how to term that, but I will say that "yes, it was". And the most interesting fact of it is both times, both times. And this happened before. So this is just the most recent time. I've, I've, I've frequent the emergency room due to stitches. I seem to in my athletic endeavor, I seem to be gifted at cutting myself deep enough to need stitches.
Mischa Z: 10:00 So anyway, the technique can work in those situations too. But the dentist, this dentist, I've had now three root canals there, perhaps for I've lost track. Um, and I, I floss. I want you to know I've lost one to two times a day. Brush my teeth, use the, the, between the teeth. You know, Tepei things. I should put a Tepei, a link in the show notes, get your temp, a teeth cleaners. Um, turns out if you drink CA I went, I'll tell you the story, my gosh, this episode's going long. I, I, uh, I started drinking in the middle of the COVID cream and sugar in my coffee cause it's so good. And I sip my coffee all morning. So I'll have one cup and I'll nurture at all morning. And it turns out, uh, sugary coffee. It's like drinking 20 cups, sugar wise. Cause you just keep on re dousing your teeth with sugar throughout the morning.
Mischa Z: 11:03 And so that the dentists said, Hey, this is the deal. If you're going to drink sugary coffee, you gotta drink it. You know, within the 15 minutes or you gotta drink it down. If you nurse it all morning, you just keep shocking your teeth. Noted! So that's what I had done. Two root canals, but this dentist tells me, he's always like, man, you're the best, um, patient ever, just so calm, so relaxed. So I can't remember the other things he's said, but every time I'm there, he's him and his assistant. They're like, what, what is this what's going on here? So anyhow, and then, you know, when I had the, the crowns done, that's where they do the teeth grinding and stuff like that. But same experience. So almost being tortured, although I suppose when you are getting truly tortured or an extreme situation like that, where you get no, um, local anesthetic, you know, might be harder to find peace enjoying the moment. But there you go, that I just wanted to expand on finding peace in the moment and I've definitely gotten better. Thanks to that out of body experience I had with that girlfriend where I was like, I need to learn how to appreciate every moment, perceived good or perceived bad, learn how to appreciate every moment, because the moment is outside of our control other than how we perceive it, I believe. Okay. I'm done. Thank you. Have a good day. Love to all.