I finally get to the goods. A discussion on how I thought I didn't have any anger issues. But then I had that start realization that I did have some issues that were subversive to my relationships. And how that manifested and what that looked like. Don't mind the mic recommendation.
I finally get to the goods. A discussion on how I thought I didn't have any anger issues. But then I had that start realization that I did have some issues that were subversive to my relationships. And how that manifested and what that looked like. Don't mind the mic recommendation.
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Transcript: Mischa Z: 00:01 Covert anger part three. How I came to a point in my life and realized that I did indeed have covert anger issues. Meaning they were covert to my awareness. I justified them in all sorts of ways. They were subversive. If you listened to the previous parts one and two, you also heard me say subversive. I like that word as well. Like they were subversive to my, the health of my personal relationships and the short term. In hindsight working it out has made my long-term relationships better. Anyhow, so covert and subversive anger and how, and back in those days, I would have sworn that I did not have anger issues and that would have sworn that I was not yelling at you. I was just passionately stating my case. Or, or passionately encouraging you to change your behavior or to see things differently, or to see things my way or to, uh, whatever, to try and get people, places and things to act as I wanted. And then of course the pain got great enough. The pain in my relationships became great enough that I was like, yeah, I need to do things differently. And then I'm going to tell you about some steps that I took. Some of the results. And you know, some fun social proof. But before I get to that, I'm going to divert for one second, which, you know, if you've been listening, I can do, I will definitely divert.
Mischa Z: 02:26 One of my favorite things to do is walk, live to get out and walk. Yes. Get out and walk so good for me. And then another thing I love doing is podcasting. I, most of the time, love letting it rip recording an episode, you know, growing in this process. And I just wanted to say that I'm getting to that right now. I'm getting to do two things that I love. One is to walk and one is to let it rip for a podcast episode. And what do I use to do that? My Shure MV 88, Mike, which has a lightening adapter. So I use it with my iPhone. I was not intending this to be a, um, a sales pitch to you, but nonetheless, here we go. If you would like to walk and record, take messy action for your podcast or also for your YouTube channel, because the motive and MV88 now has the integrated software for video for your iPhone camera. So for a while, it just worked for audio, but now there is the motive audio app, as well as the motive video app.
Mischa Z: 04:04 So CLO go to my show notes, click on the link where you can buy the sure. And V 88, Mike, and perhaps have fun with podcasting, YouTube channeling recording and using the mic to ensure on an awesome price range, have the best available audio as well as super easy functionality. Okay. For those of you who don't care about all that, I'm very sorry. Thank you for listening. Hopefully you were using the fast forward button. So I really started noticing, well, I would hear people say, well, people specifically my wife at the time, you're angry and I'm like, I am not angry. You are angry. Oh no, I am not angry. And you know, I looked at it on a scale. I'm not angry as my mother, as I thought my mother was. I'm not angry as I thought my father was, or I could look out into the public and be like, I'm not angry as them.
Mischa Z: 05:26 I am not, you know, physically abusive. That was the, that's the easy one. I don't have anger issues. I'm not fighting. You know, I'm not fisticuffs or I'm not pushing people physically. Like putting my, you know, shutting someone or, you know, you know, you know, beating my kids or, and I have, sorry, I'm even saving these sorts of things. It just sounds so aggressive or beating my wife. Right. And God bless you if that is manifesting in your life, I hope it sorts itself out. Um, but anyway, you know, for me it was clear that yes, I raised my voice a lot. Or, you know, I could be intimidating as a physical presence, six two, I can have a loud, booming voice. I can seethe with anger. I'm very effective at the silent treatment. Which the silent treatment, like going deep within, in a negative way like that, like collapsing within myself and shutting down and then projecting that out to the world to my ex-wife Dawn. Dawn, Sorry.
Mischa Z: 06:54 When I did that, it turns out I had the habit of doing that. I was gifted in both. I could, I was very gifted in the art of the seething, silent treatment, as well as the art of justifying my booming loud voice and, and these sorts of things. And of course my kids, you know, this demand for respect this whole demand for respectful. That's how my father was, but that's how our generation is. Or maybe you still, as a person demand respect from your kids. If you do, God bless that did not work for me. It turns out, um. How else could I say it just, you know, the need to be, right? People, places, things, um, you know, and, and it worked for me, right? Like that, that aggressive attitude worked for me in sales. Meaning I could channel that energy into telemarketing, into prospecting and to door, to door sales. So not that I was being angry towards my prospects, but I could channel that energy towards sales. And, you know, people, I could be of service people. There was guys out there who loved, you know, my age type sales that sort of master of the universe, um, you know, kiss my ass if you don't like me kind of an attitude. Um, bringing that attitude with arrogance, shall we say thanks to my, um, dialogue on the MBA, 88, which again, I would
Speaker 2: 08:55 Encourage you to buy and start recording your thoughts. Cause it's super fun. Um, I'm running, starting to run long in this episode. So just to recap where we are, I'm talking about the anger in a broad sense. And, uh, I'm going to tell you where I absolutely had the awareness that it needed to change and the next steps from there. So look forward to, I suppose it would be part four peace out, have a good day.