How would I survive in the world without that edge that had served me so well? That had paid the bills?That had helped me support a family? What Was going to fill that void? Is there something in your character that you justify as being "that's just who I am"? When ultimately it could go away and something beautiful could replace it.
How would I survive in the world without that edge that had served me so well? That had paid the bills?That had helped me support a family? What Was going to fill that void? Is there something in your character that you justify as being "that's just who I am"? When ultimately it could go away and something beautiful could replace it.
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Transcript: Mischa Z: 00:01 Covert anger, final thoughts. Covert subversive, anger, final thoughts. Um, as a 53 year old man at the time of this recording, you know, I definitely over the, over my life arc had stripped away various levels of anger, aggressiveness, passive aggressiveness, and I should surely have more room to, to, to, to grow in that regard. And new light will be shed on, on those things for me I am sure. If I get to, as Barbara Karnes gets to say "die from a gradual death and continue my, this relationship to the world, as I relate to this way into this world, as it is". Wow! I just went really heady really quick. Um, anyhow, uh, you know, I, I just had come to that point, as I said, uh, what would that be? Uh, you know, nine years ago where I was fighting with my son yet again, to the point of tears, uh, around this math homework, I think it was, and, and, uh, something needed to change.
Mischa Z: 01:24 And, uh, you know, I bought a couple books on anger and, and, uh, that, that show of willingness, um, sparked massive change in me, further massive change, right. And perhaps I wouldn't have needed to change. But, uh, it's much funner to go through the world these days with the attitude of bringing love in every situation. Letting go of the fear of what bringing love, what the result of that may be. And why did I have such a fear of that and why, why, why does it matter? I can maybe get insight to why at a later time, what is important is how I act now. And so one of the key things around that was I could not imagine my life without that bit of edge to drive me. And I briefly mentioned it and perhaps it was episode one or episode two of the covert anger series here that, um, you know, that sort of edge helped push me in sales.
Mischa Z: 02:49 Like that edge helped me, helped me prospect. That edge helped me do the uncomfortable work in sales. And, and served its purpose for the universe, right? Not to go too heady on you there, but I try not to hold judgements in these situations anymore. It's like, Hey, you know, if I can step back a few levels, start stripping out judgment. Anyway, that's a whole nother conversation, but I just could not comprehend how, if this character defect is removed from me, who am I going to be? Who is Mischa? Those habits were so ingrained in me. You know, those, that justifiable anger that. That dubious anger of the normal man that, that I justified away as not being anger, as being passionate as being a quirk of my character as being who Mischa is. I could not get my arms around who I would be without that intensity. Like, like, like, like, like it's funny when we throw those words in, instead of the uncomfortable silence, what was going to fill that void?
Mischa Z: 04:29 How would I, Mischa, survive in the world without that edge that had served me so well that had paid the bills that had helped me, you know, support a family and perhaps ultimately subversively undermine a family. If people get tired of passive, aggressive, aggressive, aggressive behavior. Um, and anyhow, I, it's an interesting thing. What is going to fill that void? And I can't imagine who am I going to be without it. And I, therefore I can't be without it. And I would challenge you, have you, do you have a thought about some quirks of your character? Like, that's just who I am and maybe the theorist, who would you be without it? And I see that in people, as I see it in myself, I'm like, oh yeah, like they S we, as humans can say, yeah, that's just who I am, but we can't imagine ourselves without it.
Mischa Z: 05:33 And, um, you know what I think about that now about various quirks of my character. I'm like, is this something that has run its course? And just because I cannot imagine it not being part of who I am, who am I going to be without it? Like, what it's that's, uh, is there stuff like that sussing around in me, such a great question. I would challenge you listeners. Like, do you have a quirk in your character that you justify as being, that's just who I am. When ultimately it's like, perhaps that could go away and something beautiful could replace it. And so I have just had that, just experience, just that experience, right. I, I was like, can I survive in the world? Can I survive as a sales person? Can I survive in this iteration of myself without that intensity? And it turns out that yes I can and then deed, I can thrive.
Mischa Z: 06:50 And indeed I can thrive in relationships. Indeed ceeding that control. Indeed, the willingness to get rid of that, that, that, that lower levels of anger has been replaced by love. In this case love. Like love and source and, you know, God infinite intelligence. Just like the ability to much more than ever in my life over this past nine years and standing learning more and more how to do this, how to bring love in every situation. Without the fear of loss. And, again, I would challenge you that...and this is, this is a bit of who I am, and I can tend to think, well, cause I'm like this everybody's like this. Well, that's absolutely not the case. Some of you listening may have never had these issues or, you know, be like 40 steps ahead. And God bless you. And a couple of you might be right behind me and God bless you too. So the arc of life is super fun. I, I, I love the idea of "can a piece of my character go away", "who I think I am", where I think I can't, who is, "who am I going to be without it?" And I'm here to tell you that something beautiful will be there to replace it. And, uh, that's it. Final thoughts on my covert anger series. Thank you for listening per usual. Love to all have a good day.